Chugging along

We have been chugging along this pregnancy. We had a tiny scare a couple weeks ago with Lori having significant contractions, but no dilation. She was put on modified bed rest, to be reevaluated in a week. During that week, the contractions calmed down and became more sporadic. At her next appointment, her cervix was starting to thin out, but still no dilation. She was taken off modified bed rest, but was not/is not able to work until she delivers. Her doctor didn't want to risk her going into labor, especially with her long work hours and being in MO for work. I'm pretty relieved that that happened. She has a job that requires her to be on her feet most of the 10 hours. It's nice that these last few weeks she can take it easy, put her feet up, get a massage.
We visited them this past weekend. Their family and her extended family all get together in St. Louis for Monster Jam. We joined them. It was such fun!! Very loud, though. Clark and her kids had a blast! We then hung out with their friends for the Super Bowl. I love them and their friends! They are all such wonderful, welcoming people :)
Monday we had our hospital tour at the hospital that Lori has delivered her children at and where the boys will be delivered. It was so informative! We got all of our questions answered which is a great relief. We now know what to expect. They now have faces to match the names on our PBO. We signed all the necessary paperwork for the boys' after birth care as well. Joe and I will be getting our own room at the hospital! We can take full care of our boys while they need to be in there. Lori will have her own room as well, and we will be able to visit her whenever (especially at the early mornings ;-) ) Lori is going to breast feed the boys as long as she feels comfortable during their stay. We will also be feeding them bottled breast milk during the night.
Lori had her OB appointment and NST today at 35+2. Things are looking great. They think she will make it to our scheduled c-section, February 22 at 9 am. I still think she might go earlier, February 16, and my husband thinks February 11. We were finally able to find out the boys' estimated weights from her 33+3 week ultrasound. Baby A is 5 pounds even, and Baby B is 5 pounds and some grams. So they have evened out their weights. They seem like great weights for that age, and especially great since they are twins! Hoping they continue to put on that fat and come out around 7 pounds each!!
I have everything ready for them at home. The last of the bottles and nipples are being washed as I type this. I ordered some boppy covers which came in this weekend. I put them on tonight and they look awesome!! I will have to take pictures and post them. The car seats are installed. The clothes are all washed. Two weeks and 2 more days until we meet our boys!! Can't believe this whole journey has flown by! <3

Crib sheets

I'm on a birth board for March. There was a DIY post for crib sheets. Looked simple enough and possibly less expensive than buying crib sheets at the store. I know how to sew. I had just sewed Clark's Halloween Jedi costume when I saw the post. I decided to go to Joann fabrics and buy some fabric to make the boys' crib sheets. Found some super cute dinosaur ones and some cute whale ones. Decided to get the dinosaur ones first, then if it was as easy as it looked, I'd come back for the whales ...
I'm not going back for the whales. It wasn't hard per say. It was slightly time consuming. I made many mistakes. But I did it. And I love the end results. They may not be as perfect as brand name sheet, but it's made out of love. They are on the boys' beds. I smile every time I look at them. They're going to look so adorable laying on them. I can't wait to bring them home.

31 weeks, 4 days

I can't believe we are 31, almost 32 weeks!! Yippee! What an awesome feeling!! 

In other news, I have stopped trying to induce lactation. There was a mix up with my birth control, forcing me to start pumping sooner than I really had wanted to. I pumped for a couple days and ended up stopping. The toll it was starting to take on my body was foreshadowing to how it'd be like once the boys got here, but worse. I wanted to give it a try and to bond with them that way, but He had other plans. My health truly does need to come first. So after months of going back and forth between formula and Lori pumping for us, or just formula, or donor breast milk and Lori pumping, or just donor milk, Lori will pump for the boys! What an amazing gift she's giving us. I didn't want to burden her with that task because of my experience with pumping, it gave me a negative view of how it might be for her. And I didn't want that. She's already "given" us over a year of her and her family's life, plus the trials of carrying twins. I didn't want it to feel like a chore or a burden on her to be pumping throughout the day and night. I didn't want to be selfish. She wants to give them the gift of breast milk. We also have accepted a freezer full of frozen breast milk from an amazingly generous woman I knew from high school. That will help us with beginning feedings while Lori's supply comes in. From what I have read, it takes a couple days for the milk to come. So instead of feeding them formula in the hospital and for the first few days until we can meet up with Lori again, we will supplement with this donor milk. So we have shifted from supplementing formula to providing them with breast milk only. I am so happy for that, not that I have anything against formula. Clark received BM from our former surro as well as formula. He turned out just fine :) It just will be nice that they will have exclusive bm at least for the first few months. We will cross that bridge shall we need to.

The cribs are up! I am sewing them crib sheets, which I hope to complete this weekend. I will post pictures when I finish. We have a few more things to do to complete their "nursery" but we are mostly fully ready for them! We shall be receiving their car seats this weekend, all washed and new looking. Clark's car seat was used by my niece. I will wash the cover this weekend. We are borrowing my other nieces' car seat from my SIL. She is washing it this weekend as it is still being used, until this weekend. Once those are in our possession,  I can take a big sigh of relief to know that we are officially "ready" for them. I do not want them just yet, but at least we are prepared for them when they do make their arrivals. We have a double snap 'n go. My sister gave me a wonderful custom made baby carrier, which I am so thrilled to try out! We also have 2 mobys. I plan on wearing at least one baby as much as possible. I never knew those types of things existed with Clark. So I want to do it often with boys to promote more bonding with them. Plus, it might make things slightly easier since now I will have a 4 year old in the mix.

Coming soon.. our "nursery" pictures!

PBO

We sent in our pre-birth order paperwork back in October or so. Called the IL State Dept of Vital Records today to make sure they had received the paperwork and that it was correctly filled out. Yay! They received and it was filled out correctly!! Called the hospital we will be delivering at. Made sure they received our paperwork; They did! Set up a hospital tour and chat with the L & D charge nurse for the Monday following the weekend we will be down visiting the Rineys for Monster Jam and Super  Bowl Sunday. It's all coming together. It's hard to grasp that in 6 weeks, we will finally meet our boys. We've waited so long to be this far along.. Our goal right now is to make it past 32 weeks. The hospital can handle the babies after the 32 week marker. Once we pass that, it'll be 34 weeks, then 36. Every day they stay in there, means less time in the NICU, and that is my ultimate goal: No NICU time. I want them coming out healthy and ready to thrive in this environment. I keep trying to imagine the day of their births. I know we are scheduled for a 9 am c-section. Lori tells me we need to be there 2 hours early. I picture Joe and I spending most of the 21st night tossing and turning unable to get any important sleep. I picture the bundle of nerves I will have in my stomach as we head out the door. Will we stop to get some Starbucks as our lives as a single child family comes to an end and we embark into a 3 children family. I might need all the caffeine I can get that day. ;-) I am so so excited to be going through this with such awesome people. We have come such a long way since first meeting. I consider them my family now, whether they like it or not. They mean so much to us. I am feeling anxiety about how our relationship will shift. Will we still have the same type of relationship that we've developed over the year? Will I be too exhausted to text her like I usually do? I know in my heart, I will never stop loving her or wanting to talk/text her. She is giving me the (second & third) greatest gifts I could ever desire. I want her to remain as close to me as we are now. Our lives will take different turns, but the boys will always hold us together. I wish we lived closer, so I could visit more often. But that isn't the case. Luckily, Joe and I never mind traveling, especially to St. Louis, especially if the Blackhawks have games versus the Blues. ;-) So I find comfort that they are only a drive away. I want the boys to know her, and to know Ryan and Koen, Brayden, and Bella. Clark has formed a great friendship with her boys, so it'll be refreshing for him to see them often as well. So as long as they'll have us, we plan to never leave their lives. God brought our families together for a reason and a season. We are bonded for life :)

Some pics!

Here are some pics I wanted to share. Our growing baby bump and some of the latest pics of the babies

Today 30 weeks 4 day

Baby A-EJ
Hr-132
Wt-3lbs10oz

Baby B-JJ
HR-125
Wt-4lbs3oz

Happy healthy moving babies!!!!

26 weeks 4 days

Lori had an ultrasound yesterday at 26w4days. The boys are looking great. They were a little shy, so we weren't able to get any good pictures of them. Baby A is weighing 2 pounds, 7 ounces with a heart rate of 130. Baby B weighs 2 pounds, 8 ounces with a heart rate of 140. Lori says they are very active little babies. We are going down for a visit on the 22nd, so we will finally (hopefully) be able to feel them moving and jiving! We will be having a 3D ultrasound, the last one Joe and I will probably attend I believe. We are getting closer and closer to the scheduled c-section date, Feb 22! They are growing so nicely, that we pray they continue to grow and stay put until then!

Day 1: complete

I knew it'd be tough inducing lactation, but I didn't realize how tough it'd be, mostly mentally. I am struggling mentally to keep this cycle going. At times I feel completely trapped and unable to breath. Then other times, I feel very optimistic and excited to be pumping in order to build up my supply to breast feed the twins. I'm not sure what is my hormones levels talking and what is reality. It's hard to explain, really. I have social anxiety already. I've had it since I can remember, but I was diagnosed with it almost 2 years ago. I was on medicine to get my anxiety under control. I am now currently off my medicine and I can really notice a difference. I have managed without meds for about a year, doing pretty good. But then I started birth control. That messed with my emotions, my thoughts, feelings, anxiety levels, everything. They leveled out once I got used to being on the pills. Fast forward 6 months, to where I am at now. I have been off birth control pills since Sunday basically. I have noticed I am very anxious about this whole breast feeding/pumping thing. When I am pumping, I feel good. I am getting some milk. Maybe a few drops from each breast. Enough to form a small puddle in the bottles. When I am not pumping, I feel like I have a ball and chain attached to me. I have the constant anxiety about timing and having to pump again right when I just finished (or so it feels like anyways). I am trying to have the mindset that if I pump, I pump. If not, it will be okay and I will pump when I can. The recommended amount of pumping is 8 times a day. Now that is extreme to me. I am trying my best to stick to every 3 hours for now. I get anxious thinking I will be pumping every 3 hours for 12 more weeks. It feels like doomsday. I don't want it to feel like doomsday. I am taking it day by day. I am trying to feel encouraged. I know breast is best. But is my goal of breast feeding twins realistic, especially with my disease? I honestly do not know. Joe has been very encouraging and supportive, but is that because he thinks I want this more than maybe I do? I really cannot say. My mind is torn right now. I am fearful that once the babies come, I will be either breast feeding or bottle feeding them all.day.long. I can't do that. I will go crazy. What's a realistic idea of what's to come? How will it all work?