Thursday, May 31, 2012

Baseline Ultrasound & Blood Work

Ever have one of those nights that you think are sleepless? That was my night/early morning. I kept tossing and turning, coughing, and having weird thoughts. I'm not quite sure if I was awake or not. But I am definitely exhausted. Up early for my baseline appointments. I made these appointments back when I was still working, hence the early, early nature of them. At least I will get them done and can enjoy my day resting. I will update more later when I hear the results. Pray for good numbers! I'm not quite sure what they are looking for besides for one appointment taking ever possible blood test possible (the FDA testing).

Heard from our nurse coordinator. My ultrasound and estrogen levels looked good! I am to start my meds Sunday! Ya! We are almost there. It's so exciting.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

All For You

This song struck a chord in my heart, especially these particular lyrics:
I'll give it all and lay it down
'Cause I owe everything to You.

I had an appointment with my Cystic Fibrosis doctor today. As many know, I've been struggling with a cold that then developed into a chest cold that hasn't fully left my body yet. I have been praying for Him to heal me. I would start feeling slightly better, then be hit again with feelings of lousiness. I have been struggling with thick mucus production, a nagging cough, and a persistent fever. I've been resting, resting, and when I'm not resting, I've been doing my chest therapies, even extra therapies. I've slooooooooowly been starting to feel like I was heading towards feeling slightly better. I've been pushing myself to be active and as "normal" as possible. I had this doctor appointment set up for months, so lucky for me it fell when I was feeling this way.
I did a nebulizer and a chest therapy (the Vest) right before I headed over. I also took some Motrin for my fever - had no fever when I woke up, but had one by 10 am - I got to the office. They took my oxygen level -97%- which is normal for me. My temperature was in normal range (phew), and my weight was good. Then came the lung function tests. Well, I did pretty awful. Close to tears awful. Then I had to wait, and wait, and wait some more. Finally I saw the nurse practitioner. She listened to my lungs. She said she didn't hear much air flow in my lower lungs. She mentioned a hospitalization. I explained to her, holding back my tears, that I was having an upcoming egg retrieval and was there anything that we could do to hold off the hospitalization until right after. I gave her a mucus sputum culture, and she went to speak to my doctor. I held it together as well as I could. I prayed so hard for God's mercy and grace. I knew that He could heal me at least until after the retrieval, but I knew whatever His plan was, is what I was going to accept. He knows what is best for me, even if I don't think I agree. My doctor finally came in. He told me my lung function was down a couple points from last visit, but not in a worry zone yet. He listened to me when I explained what was happening with the IVF process. He listened to my lungs. He told me I needed a 'tune-up' but it could wait the 2.5 weeks until after my retrieval. Thank you GOD! He also gave me inhaled antibiotic that is very hard to get. So I have been given a second chance to take my health into my hands and I am not going to flush this opportunity down the drain. I have one month's supply of this medicine, then I take a month off, and apparently the manufacturers of the drugs will have more supply come July. Again, thank God. He is truly awesome. So here I am, sitting at home, going to do whatever in my power to produce some great embryos for Lori's precious uterus!! I am so thankful!
In other news, Lori started her estrogen today! We are getting closer! I have my baseline ultrasound and blood works Thursday morning bright and early at 6:30! Then as long as results look good, I start my injections June 3rd!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Vent (as usual)

Well, not much has changed in regards to our lovely NC. I was told I needed this form sent in as soon as possible because it was missing from the original forms that were faxed over a month or so ago. Well I scanned them over to her on Monday. Asked for confirmation that she received them that day. Heard nothing. Emailed her again yesterday asking for confirmation so I should know if I needed to send them again or not. Got back to me saying she hasn't looked at them yet, but when she does, she'll let me know. ?? Ok. That's not annoying. She emailed me at 8:30 this morning. We emailed back and forth for a good 10 minutes. Lori had asked me a question regarding the monitoring appointment tomorrow, so I told her to quickly email Marianne because she was by her computer. She would most likely get the email from her and email quick response back. Lori did that. It is now 6 pm. Office is closed. No word from the NC. Frustrated is the nicest term I am feeling at the moment. I emailed her myself just now letting her know my frustration, because let's face it, the appointment (which our NC told us to make for Lori) is bright and early tomorrow. The odds of her answering our question before Lori goes to the out of town clinic is fairly slim. She stopped her birth control pills Tuesday, started the Lupron the past Friday, and has a baseline ultrasound and blood work tomorrow to check her lining. She apparently is supposed to get her period before the appointment. Well, it hasn't come yet, and I'm not sure if she is supposed to still attend the appointment or not. Not only for the sake of wasting Lori's time, I am annoyed because the monitoring for this appointment is not cheap. And I would hate to pay for it, just for our NC to say, 'oh you shouldn't have gone.' And you need to go again next week. So that would be 2 appointments out of pocket for one to be a complete waste of money. Plus, Lori works. I mean, does this woman get it? I know the answer to that question. And I am praying so hard for patience and an open mind. But it's not like we are bugging her with mundane, pointless questions. This is a valid question that requires a fairly timely response. So now our dilemma. Do we have Lori go to the appointment, or does she miss it and possibly have it affect anything. Who knows. I will let my frustrations known tomorrow when I speak on the phone to the NC about my schedule. I am under the impression we are switching NC tomorrow, and I am praying SO hard that this new one actually has compassion and a brain. I will be so much happier to finally put this NC in our past and start to enjoy our journey!!
On another note, please keep praying for my body to heal. It is doing yo-yo, from being healthy to feeling like poop. I'm hoping it's just some sinus drainage that is causing germs to be released from wherever they are hiding and making me sick as they exit my body. I can use all the prayers I can get. 
It's hard being an intended mom who is going to do an egg retrieval. I love Lori to death and I'm so scared that I am going to mess something up for us. I am doing everything in my power to get and stay healthy and I know she is doing everything to get her body ready for this upcoming transfer. I just don't want to let her down. Pray for God to continue to heal my body and make it stronger. Thanks everyone. <3

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Quick Update

A quick update on myself. I ended up "quitting" my long term sub position last night after being sick for the entire last week. I attempted to go to school yesterday, and when I got home, I just felt so wiped out and crummy. Checked my temperature and it was up to 100.00. There are only 2 weeks of school left, but I just couldn't risk my health, especially with our upcoming retrieval and transfer only 3.5 weeks away. My number one goal is to get healthy, to rest and to grow some great healthy eggs! My heart already feels at peace that I made the right decision. Maybe I can get outside and enjoy some of this spring weather. And finally spend some quality time again with Clark. I know he's missed having his old fun, cheerful mom. I've missed him too.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Fed ex present!

I got my big box of medicine! Yippee! Only 15 more days until I get to start them! Very exciting. Lori started her Lupron last night. We are moving closer and closer to transfer day.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Fever Free

Had a doctor appointment with my CF doctor. It went pretty good. My oxygen levels were normal (98%), my lung function was 2% higher than the last time I was there, but still not at the best it could be at. So thankfully he did not feel it was necessary for me to be admitted to the hospital for IV treatments for CF. He said I have inflamed sinuses and a viral type infection, which presented in cold sores this morning. I am now on a round of steroids for at least 3 days, possibly 5, as well as the Avelox antibiotic and Motrin every 6 hours as needed, all of which will address the upper infections and fever. Before I went to the doctor at 9 am, I had a fever of 102.8. I can now breath a sigh of relief for having a temperature of 97.3 for the remainder of the day. Thank you God! I asked for my friends' and family's prayers and He answered. He remains to stay faithful, as I remain trusting in him. I have had to take off work last friday, as well as every day so far this week. I already had called off for tomorrow when I called off for today, so I will have one more day to just rest up and recover more. I will see how it goes tomorrow, and depending on that, I might attempt going back on Friday. That way it's only one day that is fairly simple, then a full weekend to recover some more. Thanks for all your prayers, good thoughts, positive energy. They really do help!! I really appreciate it!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Day 8 with fever

I'm on day 8 of having a pretty significant fever. Went yesterday to CVS minute clinic, where I was turned away because of my CF. She didn't feel comfortable even looking in my mouth to see if I had strep. Frustrating. So I called my CF doctor at 9:45 and he wasn't in yet but his nurse practitioner basically heard my symptoms and prescribed me augmentine, a strong antibiotic, to fight whatever is going on in my body. I'm praying this sickness won't delay anything in regards to our egg retrieval or affect the quality of my eggs. On positive, I woke up this morning with a bit more energy than I've had in the past week. So I think the antibiotic is starting to do something. Fever is still holding strong, but I'm continuing drinking tons and tons of Gatorade and resting. Hopefully it gets under 101 by this afternoon. That'd b awesome, it's been holding steady at 102.6 Bleh! Pray for my body to grow stronger each day and it won't affect anything. We've been waiting patiently so long for this June retrieval/transfer.

Monday, May 14, 2012

It's almost time!

Today is an exciting day. I got my meds in the mail today. A new beginning starts this Friday. I start with Lupron. I am excited to get my body ready. I know we have a long road ahead, but it is so nice to be finally doing something instead of waiting.

Unfortunately things haven't improved much with our NC. She was 2 weeks late getting my schedule toe and even then we had to contact her to ask again. I was 1 day away from taking my last bc pill and she still hadn't tolde what to do. I didn't know if I was supposed to take the placebo or continue active pills. Once again I had to contact her to ask. I sometimes want to wait to see if she will do her job. See what would happen if we didn't contact her, but this is too important to me to just wait and let her mess things up. She emailed me May 1st telling me she was sending my RX to the pharmacy. She said they would call me for delivery. May 11 I decided to call the pharmacy to see what the hold up was. They said she never sent them an RX. I refilled my old one and asked them to ship it ASAP since I was supposed to start meds in 7 days. I emailed my NC to ask what happens and 3 days later she responded that she was sending it to them and they would deliver it soon. Yeah I got my meds that day since I ordered them myself. I wonder what would have happened if I waited for her to do her job. We would have not had my meds and things would have been delayed. She could care less about us it seems. Just a shame. I am trying to be patient but seriously. How can she still have a job when she isn't doing it. May 25 we finally get a new NC. I guess I will just do her job for her until then and pray things are better with our 3rd NC.

I have decided to use a different lab here for my appointments. Mostly because I just want a fresh start. We are starting a new journey. A new site in Chicago and a new site here and I am praying for a new and happier outcome.

Sweet Lisa has been sick and had to start antibiotics so I am praying for healing for her. We need her body healthy and ready. Please add us to your prayers as we start this new journey. It is in Gods hands and I am starting off by giving it all up to him. God thank you for this opportunity. Thank you for Lisa and Joe and CJ. Thank you for their amazing and accepting family. Their love and support means so much. Thank you God for my family who has helped me through the joys and sorrows so far. Who support me in every way. I am so blessed to be able to serve you Lord. I know this is your will and I am laying it all in your knowing hands. Give me strength, patience, knowledge, and open my heart to accepting whatever you have in store for us.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Nothing new to report. Just enjoying the joys of surrogacy/IVF... the waiting! Uugh. We have about a month and 5 days to go until my egg retrieval. At least I have school to keep me busy. Only 4.4 more weeks of school then summer! I am so thankful that my mother in law and my mom will be off as well so they can take Clark during the week of my egg retrieval. I know he will be so much better being with them and his 2 cousins than sitting couped up in the house with me. I am a little nervous about the stims. But then at the same time, I can't help but not be worried about it. I have confidence in my RE. They have me on a protocol that seems appropriate for my PCOS and OHSS issues. It seems that this protocol, the antagonist type, will cater to those issues. It seems that without the Lupron over suppressing my body, they will use the stimulation meds to help the eggs grow more naturally versus pumping me with meds while super suppressing me. In this more natural type state, I'm hoping my body produces enough good quality eggs without feeling like it needs to overproduce. I'm praying for some good egg numbers and great quality eggs. My goal is to stay rested and stress-free. I will take the advice of my brother literally. 'It is what it is.' I cannot change the outcome, so there is no need for me to worry about it. I think I worry to feel like I'm doing something (if that makes any sense).
The day before I start my stim meds is the big Chicago Cystic Fibrosis walk. So I am grateful I will be able to make it to that before my ovaries start feeling like they are carrying golf balls. I am hoping Lori and family can make it to the walk, but I'm assuming they won't be able to because they leave for Disney the following Friday :'( boo hoo. I miss them!! Clark talks about his best friends all the time, Brayden and Koen, and Lori and Ryan. Whenever he lays in mommy and daddy's bed he asks if Lori and Ryan are going to sleep in his bed. Haha. He's so precious. I would love for them to come up before the transfer, but I know that's probably not going to happen. I would also love to spend some time with them when they do come up for the transfer, but it all depends on when the transfer happens. Lori gets back from Florida either June 15 or the 16. She kind of needs to work that Monday the 18, so we are praying very hard that it isn't that day. But obviously we cannot control when the transfer will happen. If it's any day but the 16, they will just come up for the day and then head back down. :( I love my GS and want to spend as much time with her as possible! I also want to make up for the last transfer day when we didn't get to spend the day together in bed watching lots of movies! But we will just be so happy when the transfer comes that it won't matter if we can spend the time we want together as long as we have our little babies snug in Lori. We can make up the time another time since I am home free come June 6!!!!!
Clark has summer school starting June 19th almost every week Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, but we can get down to visit them long weekends when Lori and Ryan are off of work. Looking forward to being done with working and spending as much time outside soaking up the sun. I am thinking of signing Clark up for either soccer or hockey, so that will make for a busy, but fun summer!
One month and 5 days until potential transfer.... keep praying for the little steps leading up to the big ones!

Thursday, May 3, 2012


We got our new calendars!

This makes me happy! Notice I am only on stim meds for about 10 days. I can't believe in exactly one month I will be giving myself my first shot for our cycle! Ya! I am super excited. It is finally almost here. All the heart ache and frustration will soon be replaced with joy and excitement. We are deserving of some good news! I am just so excited to be able to not be so nervous and fearful, even though I know it will be awhile before I can feel all of those emotions. But trusting in God means that I don't have to worry. I need to remember to enjoy each step. To bask in the joy that each step we take, means the closer we get to the end result: a baby! I don't want to miss out on the joy of celebrating each milestone with Lori. I want us to be happy; first with the transfer, then with the first BFP, then the positive beta test, etc, etc. It is silly to worry of the what ifs, for what if those never even come. Then you missed out on so much good. I'm not sure if this time around I will encourage Lori to take so many pregnancy tests. I think it made both of us mad. Who knows, but it'd be kind of cool if we could hold off on taking any. And just let God take control of that for us. I think we learned our lesson. We will see though. I'd love to be patient and wait until it is time for the test rather than making ourselves sick with what a home pregnancy test will say. Pray for us.

On another quick note, thank you everyone for listening to me vent. Sometimes I get so flustered and do not complete my thoughts. So to clarify for anyone who was confused and thought I was acting a bit rash, I was not mad that we have to wait until June. I did not expect to cycle in May on April 30. I was frustrated that no one explained to me that we could start almost right away again as long as Lori was physically and emotionally ready to go. I did not know that by switching to Highland Park IVF versus staying put with River North IVF that it would put us back a month as HP only does transfers and egg retrievals one week out of the entire month, whereas RN does them all month long. If I had known that, I would have stayed put with RN and we could have cycled in May. Be that as it may, every timing is perfect in his plan. I am comforted now that I know it was meant for us to do it in June for many reasons, mainly I will just be finishing working full time. I will have no restrictions or commitments preventing me from all the appointments I will have. I will also have the help and support of my mom and mother in law to help me out with Clark while I am feeling pretty lousy before and after the retrieval, if it is anything like how I felt last retrieval. I barely could move for days. I was nauseas and constipated and felt so much pain just to cough. Lori will be in Florida for the week of my retrieval. And she deserves it! That woman does too much! She will be having a wonderful time with her family in Disney. At least one of us will have a distraction from the waiting and fertilization reports, so I am thankful for that. And then right when she gets back all rested and feeling fluffy, we will be transferring our embryos in to her.
Thank you all for your tremendous support and love and prayers! They do not go unnoticed!!