Contract Phase

The Lawyers

     What can I say about this phase?  This has to be the absolute worst part.  The waiting began again as soon as the Medical Phase was complete.  We had a schedule in our minds that we were hoping for and we needed the contract to be complete before we were able to lock that down.  So we both made appointments to talk with our lawyers.
   
The Bump in the Road

     I received a call from Lisa at work.  She was clearly upset and I knew something was wrong.  She told me that she had some really bad news.  I thought at first that something had come back bad with my medical screening.  She told me that her lawyer called her and told her that their was an exclusion in my medical insurance that was missed originally.  This meant that my health insurance was not going to cover any of my medical expenses if I was pregnant through surrogacy.  I was crushed.  I knew that this was bad, but honestly my biggest concern at the time was Lisa.  She was so upset and I just hated not being able to help her.  Neither one of us could understand how this could have been missed.  How we could have come so far and become so close, just to be told it wasn't possible.  I started to get really upset with whoever was to blame for this mistake.  The anger was really taking over me, so I decided to stop and just pray about it.  One of the best things about a relationship with God, is the amazing clarity he gives you within the peace he provides.  I was still very upset about the situation, but I started to see the good in it.  If the agency would have found this exclusion early enough, then we would have never been matched.  As upsetting as this situation was I was just sure that it happened for this reason.  God wanted our families to meet.  He wanted our relationships to form and our friendships to grow.
     When becoming a Gestational Surrogate you are entitled to a fee.  It depends on your contract, but you get a base fee for going through this process.  I had been struggling with this since the beginning.  I wanted to do this and I wanted it to be for God.  I felt like accepting money could be a problem for me.  I just did not want greed to creep into my heart.  Since I am human I know the power of money and I just didn't want that to taint this experience for me and especially for God.  I had been really starting to struggle with this right before Lisa's phone call that day.  I had been thinking about the base fee and what we could do with that extra money.  I know that there is no problem with planning, but I was just struggling with getting too excited about the money.  When I got the call from Lisa I just really wanted to help her.  She was feeling so badly and so hopeless.  She felt like we couldn't work together anymore.  I talked with Ryan and discussed the situation and our options.  I called Lisa back and told her to just take back our base fee.  She immediately said that she couldn't do that.  She said she felt like she would be taking advantage of me.  I explained what I had been struggling with and what I felt God was trying to do in this situation.  I want to carry these babies for Lisa and Joe and nothing was going to stop me, especially not money.  I told Lisa that we would work it out and no matter what we were moving forward.  We both prayed a lot about it those couple of days.  I just made the decision to let go of the money.  If it was God's will for me to have money then he would work it out and if it was not his will then he was trying to teach me discipline in this area of my life and I was just hoping to be able to let go of it.
     God didn't wait too long to answer those prayers.  It turned out that if I switch to insurance through my work the pregnancy will be covered.  There are no guarantees until I actually have the coverage, but this was hope.  We were very excited and could not wait to pass this information on to our lawyers so that we could move forward.  Not that easy of course!!!  This is about the time when we started referring to Lisa's lawyer as Debbie (as in Debbie Downer!!)  She of course said this wasn't good enough until we had something in writing that said that my new insurance would cover me.  So I contacted my insurance provider and got a verbal conformation that I would be covered.  This was not sufficient of course so I asked my provider to email them.  I received an email confirming that I would indeed be covered.  This was still not sufficient according to Debbie!  She started talking to Lisa and Joe about all these supplemental insurance plans they needed to purchase.  At this point I started feeling like maybe Lisa and Joe would be better off letting me go and choosing another surrogate.  Someone who would be less trouble and less of an expense to them.  I mentioned these thoughts to Lisa and she said she wasn't doing this without me.  I would have been really crushed if she decided to let me go, but I also would have understood.  But thankfully she loves me too!!  So we moved on and asked the lawyers to move on.
     They found other bumps along the way too.  Debbie found issues with the hospital that I planned to deliver in.  It didn't have a NICU so she wanted Lisa to ask me to change.  Frustrating that the hospital I delivered all 3 of my children in was not good enough for Debbie.  Then she found an issue with the fact that my work was moving to Missouri.  Missouri is literally 20 minutes from my town, but there was a SLIGHT chance I could deliver in another state.  I mean come on.  I get trying to cover all of the "what ifs", but this just seems crazy.  Lisa explained to Debbie that she was comfortable moving forward and was confident that I would be able to make it to Illinois if I were to go into labor.  Debbie then asked Lisa if she was ok with her baby being delivered in a car.  PAAAALLEEEASSE!!!  Lawyers!!
     My lawyer wasn't much better.  She had to change the wording in the contract here and there and everywhere. I know this is part of their job, it is just extremely frustrating.  Then there was more money needed here and there and everywhere too.  I just said "no"what Lisa put in the contract is fine with me.  I felt like we fought through each section of the contract about wording or money.  It was exhausting and I am just so thankful that this part is O.V.E.R!!!!!